Entah

Hari berjalan sangat lambat..
Semua ini membuat aku bosan
Layaknya tong sampah kosong
Hampa dan tak berguna,
Kenapa ini?
Ada apa?
Apa yang salah dengan hidupku
Kenpa aku selalu merasa ada yang kurang
Menjalani rutinitas ini,
Hampir membunuhku
Aku sudah bosan
Jenuh dan hilang arah..
Aku tidak mengenali diriku lagi

Cermin pun tak mau lagi menegurku
Kenapa semua orang diam
Apa yang harus aku perbuat
Kalau kalian semua begini
Adakah yang mau mengerti
Dan tolong jelaskan apa yang sedang terjadi

Aku seperti sedang terombang-ambing di laut lepas
Entah kemana..
Aku seperti rumput terbakar matahari
Tinggal sedepa menuju abu jerabu

Aku hanya bosan
Dan tak seorangpun mau menemaniku

Orang ini (?)

Kadang aku fikir orang eksak itu terlalu instant.
Tapi aku salah
Instan mereka adalah sesuatu yang sudah diperhitungkan

Ada seorang fisika,
Yang aku kenal egois
Tatapan matanya tak pernah ramah, ketika aku lewat
Aku kira ia sedang menghitung kecepatan cahaya matahari,
Tapi ternyata ini yang dia tulis :

“ I see the moon
The moon sees me
And through the leaf
Of the old oak tree

Please light the moon
That shine to me
Shine to the one I loved”

Dia berkata, “matahari itu bercahaya, dan bulan itu bersinar”
Lalu dia pergi.
Begitu saja.

Nothing

I could be nothing
But it’s true
I’m nothing
Nothing….


Beside, everybody hates me
Everybody
Treat me like a doll
I’m nothing..
Even to see your voice
Could I see your voice?

Did you ever seen me like a human?
I did everything
Just for made you happier
But I’m still nothing

I just pretending
That in the next day, someone will save me from my self.
And tell me that I’m not a doll
And tell me that he would never get boring with me
And tell me that he will accept me like who I am
And tell me that he doesn’t care even I was a broken porceline
Even I was broke inside and outside,
Someone…
That would like to take care of me
Even I was not pure girl anymore..
Someone…

I just pretending…to find him
But, he is not exist. He just my imagination..
Pretending…

my stupid life

Sometimes.. I feel in a quandary
I can’t get out
Even to save my life
I’m in a black hole
No one hear me
No one care

I just an ordinary human
Need a little repect
Need a freedom
I just can’t do this
Without you beside me

It doesn’t make any sense for me
All this situation
Push me too hard
I’m on my way
Being a monster

Then eat your heart
If I eat your heart
I’ll give mine
In order to make you understand
In order to make you care
About how I feel for so long
Because I find out that you never use your heart

We are in a different galaxy
You, with your life
And I, with my dream
We always see something in a different way
We never in a same direction
You almost hate everything I like

my stupid life

Sometimes.. I feel in a quandary
I can’t get out
Even to save my life
I’m in a black hole
No one hear me
No one care

I just an ordinary human
Need a little repect
Need a freedom
I just can’t do this
Without you beside me

It doesn’t make any sense for me
All this situation
Push me too hard
I’m on my way
Being a monster

Then eat your heart
If I eat your heart
I’ll give mine
In order to make you understand
In order to make you care
About how I feel for so long
Because I find out that you never use your heart

We are in a different galaxy
You, with your life
And I, with my dream
We always see something in a different way
We never in a same direction
You almost hate everything I like

my stupid life

Sometimes.. I feel in a quandary
I can’t get out
Even to save my life
I’m in a black hole
No one hear me
No one care

I just an ordinary human
Need a little repect
Need a freedom
I just can’t do this
Without you beside me

It doesn’t make any sense for me
All this situation
Push me too hard
I’m on my way
Being a monster

Then eat your heart
If I eat your heart
I’ll give mine
In order to make you understand
In order to make you care
About how I feel for so long
Because I find out that you never use your heart

We are in a different galaxy
You, with your life
And I, with my dream
We always see something in a different way
We never in a same direction
You almost hate everything I like

kemarin ngai baru tahu
bahwa bukan hanya ngai yang nii cintai,
tapi ada perempuan lain.. yang masih nii cintai
ngai sudah tau dari dulu

tapi ngai diam..

sampai kemarin nii sendiri yang mengatakannya..

ngai hanya diam...

sampai nii bicara..
ngai sudah kehilangan air mata..
tak ada lagi yang tersisa
gelas sudah pecah... dan airnya tumpah...nii

ingatkah...
ngai tidak akan pergi sejauh itu untuk menemui nii
bila memang ngai tidak sayang...
tapi semua itu tidak pernah membuat nii bahagia
haruskah kamar itu berbicara,
apa-apa saja yang sudah ngai lakukan
hanya untuk nii..
untuk orang yang selau membuat bulir halus itu menetes..

nii... seandainya nii tau..
ngai amat kesepian...

ngai tak akan lupa..
semua hal yang nii ceritakan..
nii... gelas itu sudah pecah..
walau nii rekatkan... bekas luka dan goresannya akan tetap terlihat
tetapi..
ngai akan selalu memaafkan nii..